LITTLE CALF

by poisonous relationship

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Russell Dixon
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Russell Dixon Delicate 'n' bumpin' trax. Heartfelt 'n' idiosyncratic songs concerning bodies, bruised feelings and the weather. Perfectly poised dancefloor ruminations.

Favorite track: ASH LAND.
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1.
ASH LAND 04:49
ASH LAND start light escalate quickly pluck my neck like a goose and say I was wrong hell night you can’t forgive me for being so low to the ground a crawling thing wet skin regard me who do you now see? regard me what do you now see? and I could take that from you take it all in my arms and want to see you to warm your hands in my armpits oh that’s right and look now who’s with me you could never keep hold of me i’ll unfurl regard me who do you now see? regard me what do you now see? familiar with gravel familiar with the sole of your shoe familiar with gravel familiar with the sole of your shoe regard me who do you now see? regard me what do you now see? an ash land, an ash land an ash land, an ash land fields of ash, fields of ash fields of ash, fields of ash sun blotted out, sun blotted out plains of destruction, plains of destruction an ash land, an ash land an ash land, an ash land fields of ash, fields of ash fields of ash, fields of ash sun blotted out, sun blotted out plains of destruction When I lived in you you were a swamp When I lived in you you were my home When I lived in you you were a swamp When I lived in you you were my home When I lived in you you were a swamp When I lived in you you were my home Fetid with dead things I know but burning like you were my own regard me watch me
2.
AN AUREOLE 03:40
AN AUREOLE I was out in the pouring rain assailed on the road seen bare, suddenly — oh no under a seeking light that wheels round my pillow ruined for life a corona, an areola, an oriole, an aureole a corona, an areola, an oriole, an aureole scrape my pate with plate glass scrape my pate with plate glass if you’re sure I can’t be spared then don’t leave me hovering watching these precious gifts slough from my body revealing a corona, an areola, an oriole, an aureole a corona, an areola, an oriole, an aureole scrape my pate with plate glass scrape my pate with plate glass if I lose If I lose the few things I had don’t let me lose don’t let me lose the few things I have don’t- don’t- don’t- don’t- don’t- don’t-
3.
an oriole 00:30
4.
LOWLY FLOWER 05:10
LOWLY FLOWER he grinds grinds with his heel, with his heel powders the glass now he’s heavy does what he feels he grinds grinds down on me, down on me slipped into his waistband like money I never got roused by his cruelty and I never got out nowt but a lowly flower nowt but a lowly flower when he looks at me with those goggle eyes sallow face red breath I admit - it feels like a misstep and when he left his boxers on the headland and slithered to the shore I was prepared to put my face in them to wipe it on the floor I never felt correctly connected and I never will nowt but a lowly flower nowt but a lowly flower (whispered into your prasinous heart:) I feel for you and I wanna do right by you I feel for you and I wanna do right by you I feel for you and I wanna do right by you I feel for you and I wanna do right nowt but a lowly flower nowt but a lowly flower I feel for you and I wanna do right by you I feel for you and I wanna do right by you
5.
6.
HIS BECK 01:30
HIS BECK at his beck and his call making love the way he told me to at his beck and his call his beck, his call, his beck, his burn, his fall cleft down the middle split wide open I was just hoping for some kind of friend at his beck and his call making love the way he told me to at his beck and his call his beck, his call, his beck, his burn, his fall cleft down the middle split wide open I was just hoping for some kind of friend
7.
THE CAULDRON 03:41
THE CAULDRON hit me in the deep place hit me in the hard black iron hit me in the deep place hit me in the hard black- hard black- don’t it make you wanna make you wanna turn around and cry (and I gotta know) don’t it make you wanna make you wanna turn around and cry, cry, cry hit me in the deep- hit me in the deep- hit me in the deep- hit me in the deep- deep- deep- deep- don’t it make you wanna make you wanna turn around and cry (and I gotta know) don’t it make you wanna make you wanna turn around and cry, cry, cry cry, cry, cry cry, cry, cry cry, cry, cry cry, cry what you told me (late at night, repeated in the morning) you might have told him too (late at night repeated in the morning) and what he gave me (late at night, repeated in the morning) he might have got from you hit me in the deep place hit me in the heart like iron
8.
9.
HERB DRINKS PETROL a crackle of heat swung round off your feet a faggot of tansy hung with bright head aflame borne in a sack dried on a rack a fascine of rape hung with bright head aflame only succoured by moonbeams so starving most of the time that herb drinks petrol and grows and grows and grows and grows and grows and grows and grows (how much longer how much more what for?) (how much more? how much more?) one swift knock and she crumbles one harsh word and she cries she cry, cries one harsh word and she crumbles one pointed look and she cries she cries only fucked on occasion so listless, bereft and resigned that herb drinks petrol and dies (how much longer? how much more? what for?) (how much more? how much more?) the kind of face you have to fight to love the kind of body you have to give up 10 gardens a husband the river 10 gardens a husband the river 10 gardens a husband the river
10.
TAKE FRIGHT 04:50
TAKE FRIGHT he dropped into a low-legged lunge his body was a tight-wound drum and yet even so, I thought I could be between air and snow he perched up on his ropey shins his navel rose, he dipped his chin and I wanted to hold that quivering thigh and feel it when he’d go a slap upon his arse, to get him started it always worked on me he knew that, didn’t he? somehow somehow somehow somehow I didn’t know we were through regardless regardless regardless regardless I didn’t feel it was true Now he is halfway out of view and I can’t deny I’d watch him till my lips turned blue with a kind of pride I’d squat in the frost I’d let myself get lost (lost, lost again) a wink to make me blush and then desertion it’s cold but not cruel forgivable somehow somehow somehow somehow I didn’t know we were through regardless regardless regardless regardless I didn’t feel it was true it’s fine but it’s not right it’s not right it’s not right oh take fright and go
11.
lowing 01:09
12.
LITTLE CALF 04:30
LITTLE CALF little calf in a big bull fighting with my elbows trying to get through I don’t want to be warm inside a leather skin or hanging in a sling little calf in a big bull fighting with my elbows trying to get through blessed with an eyelash longer than my arm brushing on my palm but hooray, hallelujah, thank god, thank god but hooray, hallelujah, thank god, thank god, thank god little calf in a big bull fighting with my elbows trying to get through I don’t want to be told where to lay my head or what my skin should hold little calf in a big bull fighting with my elbows trying to get through I kept hope only as long as I could stand and now I’m free to fold but hooray, hallelujah, thank god, thank god but hooray, hallelujah, thank god, thank god, thank god (fall down and get up again) frolicking gambolling playing on unsteady legs gambolling frolicking capering frolicking gambolling jumping jumping on unsteady legs on unsteady legs I can’t do nothing for myself but i would do anything for you come here, little calf come here
13.
blunt tool 00:49
14.
BLACK BEACH 05:00
BLACK BEACH hard year and a wild winter rain whipping down the lane taking out nascent planes calm regained out here cold but no snow nowhere to go but back on the one stop train home again oh me I know we don’t have time and we’ve been doing just fine you’ll be in a little room far from me lights up since Diwali hanging in communal trees metal is on the breeze one big freeze I need one big snowfall to cover it all take my ability pin me down oh me you’re always on my mind nowadays I feel full up and drunk and peeled but i’m gonna see you on a black beach but i’m gonna see you but i’m gonna see you on a black beach but i’m gonna see you
15.
I'M JUST A RAT I miss you thank you I'm just a rat I'm just a rat I'm just a rat I'm just a rat

about

LITTLE CALF, the new album by poisonous relationship.

view the video for "ASH LAND" here: youtu.be/Lt1CV2KbPwY

if you choose to pay for the album, thank you! please match your payment with a donation to support black trans people. here are some resources:

twitter.com/TheOkraProject
twitter.com/4thegworls
www.gofundme.com/f/black-trans-education-foundation?sharetype=teams&member=4671858&rcid=1c037add54774c0b8c3336e35a4c4c1a

credits

released July 10, 2020

written, sung, and produced by jamie crewe.

mastered by queer ear mastering, berlin (queerearmastering.com).

recorded in glasgow, 2017—2020.

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poisonous relationship Glasgow, UK

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